0 - The Wings of freedom

As I sip the last drops of cognac in my glass at 2:36 in the morning, I realise how much I've changed along the years, and even more so in the last 5 months. The break-up, as bitter as it was, has taught me more than anything else to create my own happiness and not to depend on anyone else. People come and go... my hobbies and my passions don't. At this day and age I know I should no longer hold back... I am now more than ever devoted to my inner voice which whispers all my wishes and desires. As I think of the Congo Grey - a majestic bird whose plumage makes the species truly a work of art - I contemplate the idea of transferring myself in the attic where I'd be able to study in peace and take care of my Sun Conure... and perhaps buy and take care of the Congo Grey I've been yearning for for several months now.

Living with my parents for the past 25 years I had to hold back and suppress many wishes, but now I'm tired of all this. Looking at all those individuals who let people dictate their life I become more and more conscious that if I truly want to find happiness I have to fight for it. If society is good at something it's the manipulation of individuals in order to gain control over them. But at 25 I have realised, more than before, how much I want to live... 'live' not 'exist'... I am in charge of my happiness... I will not let anyone impose unnecessary and irrational rules on me. I want to buy clothes... I love them... they make me happy... I love shopping for them, and that's what I'll keep doing. But my love for art does not limit itself to just clothing. I also love other forms of art such as cooking: I love to cook... particularly new recipes with new ingredients... for me to live a full life means to try out new recipes, new food, new places, new music, and new experiences. I also look at nature from an aesthetic point of view. In whatever I look at I see art and beauty. I love colour, but I also like black, and white, and grey. The first time I saw the Congo Grey at the pet shop, I thought he looked scary with those pale eyes staring at me. By time, I realised what a beautiful bird it is with those shiny grey feathers. But my parents do not want another bird; they repeated it too many times.

If I really want to find happiness, at least for now, I have to distance myself from the boundaries to my happiness even if it means isolating myself from my family for several hours during the day. I am seriously thinking to go live in the attic. I'll be able to thing in quiet, get  the Congo Grey and have a companion during those cold nights filled with coffee, notes and assignments. Besides, I will no longer have to worry about my Sun Conure chewing on my furniture or to have bird droppings all over the place as up there we only have old furniture and a lot of clutter. Should I really take the plunge and go up there? Should I buy the silver feathered bird?

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